I met a gnome of a man, wizened and perplexed, kneeling next to a twelve foot tall concrete buoy. The buoy had this painted on it: “90 miles to Cuba. Southernmost Point Continental U.S.A.” Behind it, the Atlantic Ocean moved lazily in the wind.

“I’m the wizard of sunrise,” the man pronounced. He wore nothing but a thong bathing suit and a sequined purple cape. He was not a thin man. “Do you like mermaids?”

I only knew I had wanted a picture to show off for friends. I held my phone out to him. “Would you mind?”

He eyes grew wide. He leapt up. “I can’t. My foot’s asleep. And you have to wait in line.”

“There’s no line,” I said.

“Of course! It’s a quarantine!” He leaned forward. “What are your intentions?”

“I just want a picture.”

He considered this. He tongue poking in his cheek as if trying to loosen a lodged piece of popcorn.

“I’ll do it,” he finally said. “But only for free.”

I handed him my phone. He gave it a curious look and then, with a mighty grunt, threw it into the ocean behind him.

“Hey!” I yelled.

“Be free, you domino,” he shouted into the air. He looked at me directly in the eyes. “Now you’ll never forget.”

I ran to the ledge that stood between me and Cuba and searched the ocean for a glimmer of my phone. I swore.

“Now you’re the king at the end of the world!” shouted the man.

He ran off and left me with alone the smell of the sea in the air.